New Kentucky Head Coach Mark Pope: “We’re going to turn this program around 18 degrees”

LEXINGTON—

“I mean, we’re going to try and get better, but really, what more can you want?”

After a thrilling coaching search, The University of Kentucky finally found their leader on the sidelines this offseason in former Wildcat Mark Pope after parting ways with legendary head coach John Calipari. After roaring applause from the Big Blue faithful, Mark Pope gave his word to change the program ever so slightly to go from winning most of the time to winning pretty much all the time with few exceptions.

“Look, this is arguably the most successful program in college basketball history. You guys were the 3 seed last year and before that you paid millions of dollars for a Wooden Award winner. We really don’t want to change much of anything around here.”

While some fans gave their full support to Coach Pope, other bluegrass residents were less than thrilled.

“If we let a 25 year old real estate agent hit 350 threes against us in a tournament game again, Mark Pope is going to be demoted to Mark Bishop and his ass is gonna be coaching Mizzou, South Carolina at best.”

The pressure is mounting already in one of the nation’s hoops hotbeds.