9th best player on 7th best America East team becomes #1 in home insurance adjuster mock drafts, pundits say

BINGHAMTON— Scouts all agree: “He’s got everything.”

From misreading emails, to not answering phones until the 4th try, to pelting their coworkers with coworker humor first thing Monday morning, scouts from around the nation flocked to see the #1 prospect for home insurance on the bench for Binghamton last Tuesday.

“He’s raw, but just think of what you could do if you develop the kid. That wingspan could reach a keyboard from across the break room.” Said Ray Ilkner, legendary State Farm recruiter.

“I’m retired now, but my buddy at Geico calls me up and goes ‘hey, who should we take in the draft this year’ and I tell him [this kid]. He goes ‘we don’t need an adjustor, we need an HR hire’. So I tell him: Fine. Draft him and start him at HR.”