SEC commissioner Greg Sankey unveils latest plan to kill off college basketball “for good”

Written By Blue Demon Degenerate

BIRMINGHAM—

SEC Commissioner Greg Sankey unveiled latest multi-step to finally lower college basketball viewer rate to zero-

“Tournament expansion. Super league contract with the Big Ten. Automatic bids for SEC teams that finish within 5 games of .500. It’s time we put a bullet in this whole roundball thing and focus all of our attention on lining the pockets of some 55-year-old businessman who hates sports but works at a network.”

The words from the commissioner, while aggressive, were not at all shocking to anyone present.

“I hate fun and I hate you all” Said Sankey as lasers flew out of his eyes and his skin turned into brimstone from the old testament.

All 47 reporters in attendance suffered only minor injuries as a concentrated blast of pure evil erupted from Sankey’s ankles as he waddled out of the room at the conclusion of the media appearance.

Blue Demon Degenerate

Thompsonian Fascist

Previous

Seth Towns Waiving Eligibility Of assistant coaching position at harvard to re-join roster for “one last ride”
Next

Is this the year wake forest breaks through the bubble?