Jim larranaga downs 32 benadryls in latest attempt to recruit “the hat man”

MIAMI— In his latest strategy to bring in high level talent to Vice City, Jim Larranaga announced in a press conference that he’s going beyond high school and national talent and will attempt to lure in the supernatural being known as “the hat man” to be the newest Hurricane.

“In this new NIL era, you have to think of everything.” Said the 75-year-old head coach.

Google describes The Hat Man as “a fictional figure that appears in sleep paralysis and is associated with mind-altering substances.”

It’s not clear if this will be allowed under current NCAA rules, but if so, many around the nation still question whether The Hat Man’s off-court antics will be a distraction to his play in the ACC.